Everyone knows that within every drama centered Law & Order SVU episode lies a little comedic relief to ease the tension. This may come in the form of witty one-lines, bizarre character traits, or just an absurd sequence of events. In our latest episode review, we watched the season 11 episode Savior featuring Mischa Barton as a prostitute who is assaulted by a crazy religious guy who is super religious and super crazy. And while the episode does end on an somber note uncharacteristic to the rest of the episode (SPOILERS), here is a list of the best lines, characters, and events from the rest of the episode:
1. Opening Scene - Benson and Stabler find a religious card left on the victim featuring the Angel of Mercy. Benson says "Well I guess that makes our perp the Angel of Death."
2. Benson and Stabler go the apartment of the first victim where they meet the landlord. The landlord calls the victim a bitch because she never paid rent and when he learns that she has died he calls her a bitch again because he won't be getting his money.
3a. Benson and Stabler go talk to the victim's roommate. When Stabler points out that she seems nervous she replies with "Wouldn't you be if you best friend died." Stabler responds with a firm "No."
3b. Immediately following his "No", Stabler takes the girl's ID off the table, licks it, and determines her cocaine usage.
3c. The girl tries to argue that she is not an addict and Stabler fires back with "So you just like the way coke smells"
4. Benson and Stabler barge into a suspect's apartment with a full swat team. A man is using a golf simulator in his apartment and Stabler yells to him "Drop the club or i'll shoot a hole in one."
5. The wife of the suspect being arrested is super religious. When referring to her husband requesting oral sex she says "The mouth is not the proper receptacle for the seed."
6. Mischa Barton eating a Blowpop as she is questioned by the cops and the paramedics.
7. Benson telling a pimp "Shut your mouth before I put a fist through it."
8. Fin doing the research and determining that there are 14 prostitutes in New York City that go by the name Sunshine.
9. There is another prostitute named Spudd. Spudd??!!?
10. Benson telling the same pimp that she yelled at before "[Spudd] is going to talk. And then your sweet jelly is going to be spread all over prison."
11. Crazy religious guy saying "Whoever did this isn't a murderer. They sent these girls to heaven out of love."
12. Stabler interrogating the crazy religious guy as they recite the Lord's Prayer to each other's mouths as they embraced sensually. (Visual comedy)
13. Crazy religious guy starts mouthing off bible shit in the middle of the police lineup instead of repeating his line.
14. Mischa Barton falling down the stairs in the most absurd sequence manner. So much so that we had to debate whether she did it on purpose because people don't trip like that. (Visual comedy)
15. In the hospital the aunt tells Benson and Stabler to get their Do-Goody Asses out of there. The next scene is Benson and Stabler at the coffee pot and Stabler asking if he "can get [his] Do-Goody Ass another cup of coffee."
16. Benson and Stabler go to the apartment of a couple of stoners who ordered Sunshine's services off of Craigslist. Stabler approaches them as one is holding a bong. They claim they were studying for finals and Stabler replies with "what is your major - stupidity." Got em.
17. Buchanan (in his first appearance) has Sunshine on the stand during trial. He tells her "You haven't been a prostitute for one whole day. Congrats!"
18. Crazy religious guy outbursting in the courtroom and yelling at Sunshine "You let Satan penetrate you 13,000 times!"
19. Crazy religious guy charging at Sunshine and then getting body slammed by the courtroom bailiff before getting there.
So take note - if someone ever tells you that Law & Order SVU is too serious or too dramatic, show them this episode and prove to them that it is so much more.